Open and Vulnerable

Hey friends,

I was having an extended time on Sunday and I decided to journal on my computer. I'm sending you what I wrote, because I'm trying to stay in community via the internet. It's unedited and you can read as much or as little as you want. It's just me thinking and reflecting and struggling and reminding myself of truth and stuff. I just wanted to share where I'm at with ya'll. Hope you're all doing well.. write me when you get a chance.. I'm fond of emails :)

27 Janeiro 2008

What does it look like for me to love God and to love people here in Brazil? I'm caught in this tension of how to relate to people here. I want to fit in, and have friends, but I'm scared of seeming too different and too much like a moral freak for people to accept me for me. I want to remain true to who I am, but up until now that person operated under totally different circumstances. I feel like I knew how to be really good at loving God and loving others in the context of New Life Church and my Christian circle of friends. Maybe loving God shouldn't be something that can change based on circumstances, but my needs are different in this new season of life, and I'm trying to understand my creator, king, and savior in a very different context than anything I'm familiar with. I'm not going to Starbucks to plan lifegroup over a grande, vanilla latte. I'm not pondering how best to invite my classmates to church or lifegroup. Now I'm trying to figure out how to love people who have a completely different background and culture than I do. I truly am different. These people didn't grow up in the church and just decided to chuck it all and party through college. That's more of what I'm used to. My friends and coworkers here are totally immersed in this materialistic, super-sexualized culture (much more than the US). It really is foreign to me. Community is one of the things that was not lacking at home in A2. Love, confession, accountability, and sound teaching were all things that were part of the ebb and flow of daily life. Loving others was easy to do in the context of encouragement, honesty, reproof, and just being together. I'm figuring out now how to love others from thousands of miles away, and how to be encouraged when the people I love most aren't physically there to give ma hug and walk with me in the struggles.
I like how Gregory Boyd describes how the church should love people. I wonder if my life and my love for people make people cry out for an explanation. I don't really think so. I think I've been more drawn into the tendency of Brazilians to gossip, make fun of other people, and to value certain people more than others. I don't want to be that kind of person. I really do want to love outrageously and ascribe unsurpassable worth to each person I meet. As CS Lewis says, "You have never met a mere mortal." Everyone is an eternal being whom God loves enough to die for, and with whom He longs to have an intimate relationship.

"If the church lives from the center and not the perimeter, and if it therefore loves as God loves, it will puzzle the sick and hungry as much as it outrages the religious. How can people love like this? In God's plan, this puzzle is what prepares people to believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and to surrender their lives to him. The evangelistic task of the Christian community, in other works, is to live and love in a way that draws people and cries out for explanation. Our proclamation only has as much credibility as our love requires explanation."
~Gregory Boyd, Repenting of Religion

I think I need to be more secure, confident and unmovable in my commitment to live as God has called me to live. If I act cool about my convictions, others should accept me for who I am, right? I guess I have no guarantees. That thought is so scary to me. I realize that I am still pretty dependant on relationships with people, even if they're people who barely know me and who don't speak the same language most of the time. If they choose to reject me, I don't have a back-up plan for my social life. I love it when I'm thinking about something and a song comes on that mirrors your thoughts at just that moment, or speaks truth that you need to be reminded of. I want to be above the influences of this world and not care what comes at me, because I'm steadfast in God's truth. For example:

God above all the world in motion, God above all my hopes and fears, and I don't care what the world throws at me now. It's going to be alright. Cuz I know my God saved the day, and I know his word never fails, and I know my God made a way for me. Salvation is here.
~Salvation is Here

I think about my passions and gifts, and I wonder how to use them here. I am a Christian, a child of God, and an heir to the kingdom of God. I have a corny sense of humor, I love to play volleyball and go running, I think I'm a good friend to people, I love to dance and sing (especially when nobody else is around), I'm vibrant, clever, well-loved, beloved, and steadfast. I mix easily with different kinds of people, and I'm happy to play cards or watch a movie with friends, have a deep conversation, or dress up, go out drinking and dancing. I consider myself a leader- socially and spiritually, but so far in Brazil, I'm following everybody else around.

My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing, and make music with all my soul. Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth. Save us and help us with your right hand, that those you love may be delivered.
~Psalm 108:1-6

It's cool how scripture how the power to minister to you differently as you change and experience different things in life. I never really paid much attention to the phrase, "among the nations" before. Interesting how that's the phrase that jumped out at me in this passage, huh? I guess being among the nations and among the people's away from your own culture heightens your awareness to God's love for all nations.

That's all for now. Hope to hear from you soon.

Love,

Observations

Observations:

I'm surprised that I don't have a stutter. I'm constantly saying things three times in my head. Why do you ask? Well, since you're so curious, I'll tell you. It's because I'm translating everything into the three languages that are rumbling around in my brain. "Good morning" "Bom día" "Buenos días" The accents are all different, and half the time, I'm talking with someone from Bolivia and someone from Brazil ,and I can't make up my mind as to which language I should be speaking. Mental gymnastics. Sweet.

You know how in the US, it's customary to insult a guy's manliness by asserting that he enjoys fruity alcoholic beverages? One of my favorites is, "Jim Tressell drinks wine coolers." (Go Blue!) Brazilians don't think this way. The national beverage, the caipirinha, is cachaça (sugar can liquor), limes, sugar, and ice. They also enjoy the caipivodka with any fruit you can mash- strawberries, pineapple, lemons, passionfruit, etc. So, the manliest of Brazilian men can sit outside on the terrace, next to the beach and sip the fruitiest of beverages out of a rocks glass with a little straw, and nobody thinks any less of him.

Speaking of straws… (what a segway), everyone drinks with a straw. This includes out of glasses at restaurants and especially out of aluminum cans of pop. Everyone is scared of contracting some rat urine disease, and I guess drinking Fanta de Laranja (orange) straight from the can is a very serious health risk. I didn't know this social norm until I got a couple strange looks at lunchtime when I popped the top of my Coca Cola Light and took an drink American style, and then looked around. The fact that they prefer straws isn't really the funny part. The irony of it all is that nobody ever sticks a straw in their can of beer. (Can you imagine that image? I'm laughing to myself right now.) Plus, I'm pretty sure they drink way more beer than soda from cans. I mean, maybe Brazilian rats are highly intelligent and know not to pee on the cans that have an alcohol content written on them. Let's get some consistency here, you know what I mean?

Back to the regular update:

I met a couple guys from the States Saturday night. It was so fun to hear native English spoken. It made me realize how much my speech changes when I know I'm speaking to non-native speakers of English. I was sitting at the opposite end of the table of ten people, and amidst all the noise of the ocean and the restaurant, I could effortlessly hear and understand their entire conversation. Meanwhile, when I concentrated really hard on the Portuguese conversation right next to me, I only understood 60% of it. Funny how your brain works like that.

Carnaval is next week, and so everyone this week is going to busting their butts to get all the work we have to do done. If it doesn't get done, there will be no Carnaval in Rio for me. I think I would get the time off, but my friend, Bruno, who invited me to come with him to Rio, would have to stick around Macaé. That would be sad. Macaé really isn't fun for going out, and I would love to see Carnaval Rio-style. J

It's been rainy for the past week. It's really been a bit chilly in the evenings too. I mean, it's been like 70 degrees… with the ocean breeze, I can get goosebumps… brrrrr. :-P How's winter, Michiganders?

That's all for now. I'm feeling more and more at home, and I think I'm going to buy a cell phone soon. My Portuguese is getting better all the time, and I'm making more friends. The more friends part is especially good, because I just had two friends leave to go to school in France for two months, and two more are ending their internships and might not come back to Macaé. What a turbulent social network!

Later!
Hasta luego!
Até logo!

Portu-ingle-spañol and a Churrasco

Oi!

So I´m writing this email from my hotel in Rio de Janeiro. I´m here for a week of Portuguese immersion classes. Yes.. it´s intense.. just like camping (I just had to say my favorite joke to someone... or everyone in this case :)) My first day of class was today. I started with breakfast in the morning with a teacher at 8am. From then on, I had 2 hour classes with a different teacher everytime, all day, until 5pm. It´s all one-on-one instruction, and after lunch I get to go on a field trip in downtown Rio. Pretty nice. Needless to say, my head is spinning with languages. (Funny how you always say that which is needless to say... food for thought). I would say that knowing Spanish is more of an advantage than a disadvantage, but I try to use Spanish words that aren´t the same in Portuguese and get reprimanded frequently. :) I´m pleased with my progress, and my teachers are excited at how fast I´m learning.. hopefully they´re sincere.

This past weekend was pretty fun. I´ve noticed that Brazilians are very nice and that they looooove to party. This was my weekend: work on Friday until 8ish.. then got a ride home with a coworker, took a shower (never enjoyed those as much as I do working in the workshop in coveralls in the tropical summer), ate dinner, went to the bar to drink beer and cachaza, went to the dance party on the beach until 5am, came home and went to bed and then woke up at 11am to go to a churrasco with friends.

First of all.. I really don´t know where anyone from Schlumberger´s work and social lives split. They are one and the same. I work with people all day, then spend the evenings with them too. Everyone knows everyone´s business... it´s a curious situation. But anyway.. I was on my way to describe the churrasco. It´s a wonderful thing :) It´s grilling.. Brazilian style, and it´s an all day event. Lunch and dinner are mixed into one long afternoon of snacking on delicious morsels of beef cooked on a grill that looks like a little fireplace with a chimney. Oh my gosh is the food delicious! I don´t know how it is so much better than anything in the US, but it sure is. Okay.. and these people drink more beer than a frat house on a friday night! Okay.. maybe not that much, but it was impressive how many coolers of Skol (Brazilian cerveja) we went through.

When folks get intoxicated, they speak more English.. good for me! We walked the 2 blocks from my friends´ house to the beach, watched the guys go swimming, ran away from them when they came out, and got caught and drenched with sea water anyway. :) Some things are the same in every country.. huh? One highlight of the day was my ride on my coworker´s motorbike. It´s like a giant tricycle-motorcycle, but it was as long as a car. I have a couple pictures that I will put up when I get back to Macaé next weekend. It was frickin sweet! Raulmar took me down to the beach and all around town (he´s married and old enough to be my uncle.. don´t get any ideas). The wind was blowing in my face and the beautiful countryside of mountains and beaches was just perfect! Sometimes I have to pinch myself... not really- that would hurt. :)

Well.. I think that email is long enough for today. I have to pay for internet at this hotel.. lame!! I love hearing back from you. Keep it up! I will try to respond to individual emails soon. I have homework to do tonight :-/

Até logo (until later),

Buzios and physical labor..

To all my favorite people:

I made it back to Brazil safely a week ago. I've been pretty busy since I
got here. It took a total of 27 hours travel time to get from my house in
Grand Rapids to my base in Macae. Whew!! It's a lot of cars, planes, cabs,
and vans... and exhaustion.

I moved into my staff house and met one of my roommates. Her name is Gabi.
She's nice, very social, and I've basically been her shadow since I met
her. She invited me to come to Buzios with her and her friends for the
weekend. I decided to go, although I was worried about being lost when
everyone else was speaking Portuguese. How did it go you ask? Well.. I was
lost in the Portuguese conversation 75% of the time, but I still had a lot
of fun. 15% of the time, the conversation was in English, and the other 10%
was Portuguese that I could figure out. I did made some new friends. Some
of them I like more than others, but that's to be expected, right? We
walked around the town, went out to dinner, went to a dance club (don't
worry too much about that, Mom and Dad), and went to the beach the next

day. I bought some Havaianas (the Old Navy flip flops of Brazil- everybody
has them), and we drank coconut milk right out of the coconut in the shade
by the water with a cool breeze blowing through the trees. It was fun, and

I'm very glad that I went. I put up pictures for everyone to see on my
gmail account: http://picasaweb.google.com/Jessica.J.Schulte There are
pictures from Rio, my first weekend in Macae, and some from Buzios (I'm
still working on uploading the rest). I will try to add captions so you
have some context for what you're seeing. It might take me a while though..


As far as work goes, I have been getting my hands dirty for the first time.
I have been working outside off the base with all of our screens (30ft long
sections of pipe with holes and mesh and such). I painted approximately 40
pieces of wash pipe at 30ft a piece yesterday with this black sealant that
we thinned with solvent. I think they're trying to make me high or
something. It's spattered all over my cute orange coveralls. I now
resemble an orange Dalmatian or something. Adorable..

I made some New Year's resolutions. The ones that are going well include:
flossing every day, reading My Utmost for His Highest every day, keeping my
room clean (yes, Mom, it's true), and staying away from the Brazilian guys
(except as friends). You should all be very proud of me. :) Laundry and
the dishes are actually taken care of by the maid that comes 3 times a
week. Crazy.. I just leave dishes in the sink, and they get cleaned and put
away! It's like magic. It's strange to not do my own laundry.. but I like
it. :)

I'm learning more Portuguese phrases. I also learned how to help with heavy
lifting. I was helping the forklift operator move pipes and screens. It
was nice to actually feel useful. We work outside rain or shine. And boy
has it rained and shined on me. I feel like a construction worker sometimes
because we stand around a lot if the machinery we need is in use elsewhere
(and we wear orange). Overall, it's not too bad. I'm still trying to
decide if I actually like the work here. I haven't had enough exposure yet
to know. As for now, I'm assuming it's going to be great.

Well.. that update wasn't very exciting, but hopefully you will enjoy the
pictures. I'll think of some wittier remarks next time.

Tchao tchao,

Feeling awkward lately...

Hey guys,

I made it safely back to Macae, and I'm back in the office. I left Grand Rapids at 10am on the 2nd and arrived in Macae at 4pm on the 3rd. Accounting for the time change, I was traveling for a lovely 27 consecutive hours. Maybe it's jet lag, or maybe it's just harder this time around to be here. It's so different being at my base vs. being in my OFS-1 class. I had so much fun in my training class. I think it's because everyone spoke English and had to make instant friends with everyone else out of necessity. Here in Macae, I'm the odd one out. I can't understand the Brazilians when they speak Portuguese, and nobody really needs more friends. It's incovenient to speak English for them, and it would really only be for my benefit.

I moved into my staff house. It is the one in the pictures. I live with a girl named Gabriela and a guy named Rui. Rui is not home- he's either off-shore or home with his family. Gabi just got back from her technical school in France, so she's been helping me out a lot. I don't have keys to my house yet, and so I feel like I'm tagging along everywhere she goes. It's not really the best feeling. She invited me to go with her and her friends this weekend to Buzios. It's supposed to be really gorgeous- beaches, mountains, and such. I hear that celebrities of all different nationalities go there for vacation. Hopefully it will be fun for me. Worse case scenario is that I don''t have any meaningful conversations, and I get sunburned, and have no fun. Hopefully, I'll make some new friends and make some fun memories.

Well.. I was going to write more, but I was actually working all day and ran out of time. If you could pray that my spirits get a little more like the weather here, that would be great (that would be warm and sunshiney). I could use some real friends and some instant-portuguese knowledge. :) I miss you all.. and sometimes I miss the familiar things.. like Meijer, peanut butter, Applebees, independence, and driving cars.

Thanks for being wonderful,